The Advice you've been afraid to ask for. Messed up your life? Turn to Dear Cthulhu for the answers on how to fix things because –
Cthulhu Knows Best.
   In the third Dear Cthulhu advice collection, the Mighty Cthulhu enlightens the masses by tackling topics ranging from when should one stop breast feeding, how to deal with roommates who think they are werewolves, what to do when you find out you have 58 illegitimate children, dealing with text addicted girlfriends, how to hide your habit of eating cats from your feline loving girlfriend, and he explains how LSD can still cause bad trips decades after you take it.
 
Here’s an example of his wisdom:
Dear Cthulhu,
    I am constantly being criticized by friends and even strangers for breast feeding my son in public. They all try to tell me he's too old. I think it is up to the mother when she stops breast feeding her kids. Besides, he just won't take the formula. I've tried and he doesn't like it. If it helps, my little one turned thirty-six last month.
     -Momma Manning the Milk Pumps
 
Dear Milk,
    Traditionally when the child can open up the mother's shirt and help himself to a snack, it is time to cut them off. And it is quite possible that your behavior is keeping him from meeting women his own age to play and procreate with. If you are interested in grandchildren, I suggest stopping the feeding immediately. But look at it this way. You have kept your mammaries going for almost four decades. Maintain that with a breast pump for a while longer and you may be able to feed your grandchildren as well.
 
Praise for Dear Cthulhu:
"As an elder god, Great Cthulhu has the experience to answer the questions that would drive lesser advice columnists to madness, and he does so with a sensitivity that gives one hope for the years of chaos and darkness to come when he rises from the depths."
          -David Lee Summers, Editor Tales of the Talisman Magazine and author of Owl Dance